I asked ChatGPT something simple.
“Find me a movie or show like Greyhound — serious, clean, no profanity, no sex, no nonsense.”
You know what, Greyhound impressed me.
No nonsense. Just Tom Hanks leading men to protect 30+ ships on the Atlantic.
Sailors talk rough, sure, but it fits the story – and very minimal too.
And there’s even a bit of faith if you look close.
And a few things about his clothes.
Have not figured that out.
Watch it to see.
We don’t see this kind of story telling anymore.
So I said, “Okay, what else like this is on Apple TV+?”
ChatGPT started listing titles.
Then I stopped it.
“No. I don’t want minimal profanity. I want none.
No nudity. No flirty jokes.
No dumb dads. No rebellious teens. No broken-family punchlines. None of that fake ‘relatable’ junk.”
ChatGPT went quiet for a bit. Then came back, sounding like it didn’t want to say it.
“Apple TV+? None.
Amazon Prime (Philippines)? None.
Netflix (Philippines)? None.
Based on your standards — zero nudity, zero profanity, zero mockery of parents — there are no modern shows that qualify.”
Ouch. But it’s true.
Everything now needs a curse word, a naked scene, or a clownish dad just to feel “modern.”
Somewhere along the way, decency got labeled outdated.
I wasn’t asking for cartoons. I wanted clean, grown-up storytelling.
But all I got back was silence.
Writers before could make you laugh and cry without trashing what’s good.
They didn’t need rebellion to make a character interesting.
They didn’t mock faith or family just to sound “real.”
You can still find those stories.
They’re hiding in old shows on YouTube and public archives.
The kind that speaks straight.
CLEAN CLASSICS THAT STILL PASS THE FILTER
The Andy Griffith Show – Wise father, calm strength.
Father Knows Best – Smart dad, respectful kids.
The Donna Reed Show – Steady marriage, gentle humor.
Leave It to Beaver – Kids learn, parents guide.
Perry Mason – Clean courtroom drama.
The Rifleman – Fatherhood with courage.
Dragnet – Straight duty.
Bonanza – Brotherhood with backbone.
Lassie – Loyalty that still teaches.
The Twilight Zone (original) – Stories that stick to conscience.
They all got one thing right: respect.
WHERE TO WATCH (LEGALLY)
- The Andy Griffith Show – Official YouTube Channel
- Father Knows Best – Classic TV Shows Channel
- Leave It to Beaver – Archive.org
- Perry Mason – Pluto TV
- Dragnet – Internet Archive Collection
- The Rifleman – Official YouTube Channel
- Bonanza – Official Channel
- The Twilight Zone (original) – Paramount+
- Lassie – Official Lassie Channel
When I asked ChatGPT for a clean modern show, I thought it would find at least one.
It checked everywhere.
Then it said, “There’s nothing.”
That’s when I realized something.
It’s not that there are no clean viewers.
It’s that Hollywood forgot what clean looks like.
Until they remember, the most honest entertainment might still be in black and white.
One Solution: A few shows you can find in EWTN (there’s a Smart TV app for this too).
Next up: Part 2 — where ChatGPT and I test Asian dramas and European period shows with the same no-compromise filter.
Let’s see who survives.